THE "GADGETMEISTER'; BARON BOB SELLS WACKY, WEIRD STUFF ONLINE FOR A LIVING.(CNY)

Byline: J. Scott Orr Newhouse News Service

In the world of gadgetry, there are items that are useful, items that are fun, items that seem unintentionally absurd, and then there's Baron Bob.

For every iPod, satellite navigation system or advanced cell phone, there are things that use technology for utilities that leave us scratching our heads. There are also the gadgets for sale at Baronbob.com, a Web site offering everything from the wacky to the just plain "stoopid."

Baron Bob, otherwise known as Bob Brooks, built his Internet business over the last decade and now sells a wide variety of items that wake you up, let you play with your food, or simply entertain you through the sheer force of unrelenting absurdity.

Take, for example, the Flying Alarm Clock, a $25 digital clock equipped with a propeller. At the appointed time, the clock emits an alarm and sends the propeller soaring across your bedroom. Forget about hitting the snooze button: In order to turn off the alarm, you must get out of bed, retrieve the propeller and return it to its base.

Brooks, a one time a comedy magician, has taken the wacky gadget market to new heights, scouring the Web for the unusual and the weird and offering up items, without apology, to satisfy every customer's inner nut-job.

"I started out offering reviews of quirky Web sites and selling a single product, barbecue sauce. That turned out to be a flawed business model," the garrulous gadgetmeister said. "So we started finding unusual items, one thing led to another, and in a flash the gift gallery was born."

Here's another completely unnecessary invention that, nonetheless, sells a ton at Baron Bob's: the electric spaghetti fork at $9.95 each. ("Eating Pasta has never been so much fun with the amazing automated Twirling Spaghetti Fork!!!") Press the button on the fork's brightly colored handle, stick the prongs into a pile of pasta, and a motor does the twirling work for you. Though it probably works with other stringy pastas as well, lovers of ziti or rigatoni will still have to do the work manually.

Now, after you polished off your pasta, how about some ice cream for dessert? Bob has a gadget-based tool for that too: the motorized ice cream cone. Load it up with dessert food and it spins around, preserving both time and tongue muscles. It's a mere $8.95. By now you're probably saying to yourself, "OK, enough about Baron Bob, what about those umbrellas?"

Say you're strolling along, carrying your Ambient Weather Forecasting Umbrella. Suddenly, you notice its handle is flashing, signaling you that it's raining. Simply put up the umbrella and you're protected. Brilliant.

Well actually, you can't carry it yet because it hasn't come to market and no price has been set. Their Web site, Ambientdevices.com, says the umbrella gets its local weather data from AccuWeather.com. We suppose it could be handy if you were leaving your home and noticed the handle flashing reminding you to bring it along. Either that or you could just look out the window.

Some other products for sale at Baronbob.com:

1) Cruzin Cooler: "Combines two basic necessities of life, the ability to have cold food or a beverage handy along with the means to get somewhere, without walking." Available in gas or electric models and a variety of colors. Price: $349 to $499.

2) Temperature controlled LED Faucet Light: "Turn the water on and the running water activates the LED Faucet Light. If the water is cold it will appear to be bright blue. When the temperature reaches 89 degrees the light source will magically transform from blue to red." Price: $19.95, buy a second one for $14.90.

3) Octodog Frankfurt converter: "Just insert a hot dog into the Octodog, push down and get the craziest looking hot dog you've ever seen." The hot dog will look like an octopus with a head and tentacles. (Video demonstration available online.) Price: $15.95.

4) Black Bar Party Glasses: Help the paparazzi magazine editors out and put that black bar across your eyes even before the photo is developed. "In a social setting, they instantly become the life of the party. Your inhibitions will fade away. You're immediately popular with the "in' crowd. Everyone else will be wondering if you're famous." Price: Three pair for $24.95.

5) Thumb Wrestling Ring: "Requires no assembly or batteries so you can get right down to business. Perfectly compact and easily mobile, ready to be transported to any arena necessary." Price: $7.95.